From My ATS Faculty Years, 2003

 

May 31st became a major milestone in my life for several reasons. It was the day our daughter’s family—who had been living with us since the previous September—finally moved to Chicago. Their first child, Josiah, had brought many stories into our home. As I shared with readers before, our entire family was once thrown into turmoil when a doctor suspected a tumor behind Josiah’s eye, likely cancer. Only later did we learn it was a misdiagnosis, and we breathed a deep sigh of relief. But today, I want to share a story connected to Josiah that touched me personally.

 

At the time, I was in the final, urgent stretch of completing a doctoral dissertation I had been working on since 1994. Teaching full‑time while writing a dissertation was already a heavy burden. So when God sent our daughter’s family into our tiny apartment at such a critical moment, I could not help but wonder why He would add yet another weight to my already strained circumstances.

A close friend—the associate dean—who knew my situation well, worried aloud about how I could finish my dissertation while two families shared such a cramped space. Writing a dissertation is a grueling task that demands one’s entire mind, heart, and strength. To attempt it while living with a newborn who cried day and night seemed humanly impossible. Our Manhattan apartment was so small that I had set up my desk in the living room, where there was barely enough room to turn my chair. My son, who gave up his room for his sister and brother‑in‑law, had to sleep on the living‑room sofa. The stress on him must have been enormous.

 

To make matters more complicated, my daughter, son‑in‑law, and son were all still in school, and my wife worked five days a week as a librarian. Naturally, the responsibility of caring for the newborn fell largely to me, the grandfather—especially since I spent every spare moment at home glued to my desk, trying to finish the dissertation.

Yet deep in my heart, I held onto a quiet conviction: the God who had always guided my life with goodness surely had a purpose in bringing Josiah into our home at this time. I believed that God would also bring my dissertation to completion in His time and in His way. And the faithful God did not disappoint. Despite the many challenges, I submitted my dissertation by the final deadline, January 15th, and on May 29th, I received my degree at the Westminster Theological Seminary commencement.

 

When we face difficult circumstances, we often protest and ask God, “Why?” But we easily forget that the God who allows hardship always has a purpose, and that depending on our posture, those hardships can become channels of blessing. The immense mental strain of writing my dissertation was eased every time I looked at Josiah’s innocent, joyful face. He became a source of rest in the midst of overwhelming work, enabling me to finish what I had begun. No matter how many hours one invests, creative work is impossible without a sound mind. Each time Josiah nestled into my arms, he became a refreshing breeze that revived my spirit and restored my ability to write.

“For those who love God, who are called according to His purpose, all things work together for good.”